Shattered
by sweetsorrowthroughEternity
Summary: This is the angstieset poem in the history of angst itself...please don't read if you can't stand depressing poetry... Well, summary, erm...Hao's thoughts after his defeat...really sad thoughts...


**Sorrowful Seraphim:** "Pretty angsty"…not even close…

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own Hao.

**Warnings:** STRONG Language and Violent Blood Descriptions

* * *

Shattered

_Does a story never start from the beginning_

_Whilst the seasons change_

_And nature grows?_

_-_

_Is it in the best interest of those damned on the Earth_

_To be swallowed by the corruption that they themselves set?_

_I don't know_

_-_

_I thought once I was almighty_

_That the track of my impenetrable mind could not be altered_

_But I was wrong_

_-_

_I believed above all else that I was superior_

_For I endured the trials of a trivial hell_

_And suffered the curses from a thousand men_

_But I was wrong_

_-_

_I was so close_

_Yet I failed_

_To the weak bastard that was supposed to suffice as my other half_

_And now I lay here in oblivion_

_My confidence destroyed_

_My soul broken_

_-_

_I realize another reincarnation will be fruitless_

_For I sense the end is near for the world I've been so foolish to treasure_

_Yet I wonder above all else_

_-_

_Why?_

_-_

_Was my only purpose to die?_

_To suffer?_

_To wilt in agony?_

_-_

_Was the source of my power only given so as I could fail in the end?_

_Could it be my destiny is one not conceived?_

_Was my life truly pointless?_

_Did fate forget my soul?_

_-_

_I don't know_

_-_

_It seems I know nothing anymore_

_My assurance is lost_

_And my mind can only relate to lingering emotions I felt at my third death_

_-_

_It wasn't the same as the others_

_I felt as if a part of myself was incinerated_

_As if my very way of life was in vain_

_-_

_Could it be?_

_-_

_Had I actually been wrong?_

_Was there such a thing as friendship?_

_Or love?_

_Or Peace?_

_-_

_Could a person truly care about another?_

_-_

_No._

_No._

_It…can't be._

_-_

_For if that is true_

_Than my childhood was unfortunate_

_Then my dawning was unfair_

_It would mean that my existence had purely been created to suffer_

_-_

_No._

_It just can't be._

_-_

_It would mean that my mother's murder was simply…having bad luck_

'_Accidentally coming across bad people'_

_It would mean that the relentless torment was nothing but…being in the wrong place…_

_At the wrong time_

_-_

_It would mean happiness escaped me_

_Left me to suffer_

_-_

_It would mean the kinder feelings, memories simply passed me by_

_While supplying all others with their joy_

_And I was simply 'left out' _

_It would mean I was just eternally unlucky_

_-_

_No._

_Could fate actually be so cruel?_

_-_

_Yet it seemed that this was the only explanation._

_My life was pointless._

_-_

_As the other's laughed and cheered their friends_

_And with their families_

_Had fun_

_I suffered_

_-_

_As the children played in teams_

_Completely unified in their happiness_

_I suffered_

_-_

_No matter where I went_

_Who I tried to befriend_

_I suffered_

_-_

_Yoh, my brother_

_Who had gone through similar childhood trials_

_But somehow he gained friends_

_Friends that supported him_

_That cared about him_

_That loved him_

_-_

_He had friends_

_That brought him joy_

_That were loyal_

_That would do anything to protect him_

_-_

_He searched until he found them_

_And now they are bonded_

_But I searched_

_My entire life_

_And found no one_

_-_

_It was what truly made me this way_

_It was what made me snap_

_But does it mean I was any less fortunate than him?_

_-_

_No._

_-_

_It is the sad truth I have to realize_

_To gain true happiness_

_You must search_

_Until you find it_

_You must survive on your will until it embraces you_

_-_

_Some find it easily_

_For some it is harder_

_But for a few_

_It near impossible_

_But still possible_

_-_

_It they keep going_

_If they don't surrender to the darkness_

_Then they will find it_

_Eventually_

_-_

_I am a bastard_

_A vile, foolish, jackassed bastard_

_I deserved to be ripped to pieces_

_To watch as my body is sheared_

_To gaze upon the gushing crimson that flows from me_

_Because I know the truth_

_-_

_I have realized_

_-_

_I called them all weak_

_I deemed them unworthy_

_For their belief in friendship_

_Their sanctity in love and kindness_

_-_

_But I was wrong_

_-_

_Unlike my brother_

_Unlike Tao Ren_

_Unlike them all_

_I surrendered before I found my peace_

_I gave up before I reached the warmth_

_They are not unworthy_

_I am_

_-_

_For even in the bearings of hate they survived_

_While I was not strong enough to do so_

_I have no to right criticize their souls_

_For the actuality still survives_

_-_

_I lived one thousand years ago_

_While others found sanctuary_

_I did not_

_But while others were strong enough to find it_

_I was not_

_-_

_I am Asakura Hao_

_I am weak._

* * *

**Sorrowful Seraphim:** Oh my god…I'm actually in tears over my own writing…I...don't know what to say, just review the damn thing already… 


End file.
